This article talked about relationships between stepmother and child and the real reason why it's so complicated.
Children find it difficult to become use to an outsider and many problems occur whether it has to do with loyalty bonds or plain out resentment but no matter the case being a stepmother is difficult. This showed that both child and stepmother find it hard to keep a positive relationship and it’s not easy on either side no matter what they do and most people have a difficult time ever finding that balance.
Do you think that children can truly get along with their step parents? And if so can you love them just as much as your real parents?
18 comments:
I do feel that children can get along with their step parents because each situation is different. It all depends on how accepting the child is to new comers and how accepting the new parent is to the child’s feelings. For example if a child is in a situation where the new parent is forcing to spend time only with their significant other and is excluding the child all together the relationship can turn out bad where the child will resent the step parent for taking away the remaining parent. In other situation the step parent could be a loving individual and want to make sure that everyone in the family is happy with the decisions being made. This also means checking in with the child to make sure that everything they are doing is ok with the child. Communication is key in a situation like this one, if there is no communication then there’s no way of knowing how each party feels. I don’t agree with the fact that a child who has lost there parent will love the step parent more. They may love them, but it’s not the same connection they had with there old parent. They are biologically bonded and the child has lived there whole life knowing who is their parent. In some casing though if the original parent was abusive for example then there is a high chance the step parent will be more loved than the biological parent.
Lauren Bush---- Pyschology Period 1
I do think that children can get along with their step parent,but like lauren said it all depend on the situatuation. If i child is comfortable with their prent remarrying then the transition may not be as hard for a child who is not accepting of it. I think that the child will learn to get along with their step parent, but never have the same love for them as they would if it was thier real mother or father. I belivie they can build a bond just not the same one they have with thier real parents.
I do think that children can truly get along with their stepparents, but it depends on their relationship with their real parents. If they have a good relationship with their real parents, the transition to this new mother/fatherly figure may be difficult. If the child had a rocky relationship with one or both parents, the new stepparent may be a new change accepted graciously. I do believe you can love stepparents as much as your real parents. If you never had one or both parents really love you as much as you wanted, the new addition to your family could be very beneficial. On the other hand, some children are always bitter towards their new stepfamily member, due to their attachment to the parent being “replaced”.
I think that children can get along with their stepparents once they accept the fact that they are going to be a part of their family, even thought they are not there to replace their real parent that is no longer with the other parent. I think that if a child has/had a good relationship with their real parents then they will never love a stepparent the same way. However, if the relationship with the real parent is not so strong a stepparent may be the real mother or father that a child never had and they can love them like a biological parent.
i personallly knowing that my mother is now a widow problem would not get along with my step parent enless i knew them well. even though i feel like no one would ever be able to replace my dad. i konw that the thing most children say but having people just walk in like that it is kind of annoying which makes it very hard to get along with step parents.
I think that for a child to get along with a step parent that they must be willing to realize that they are not the true parent but a step parent. I think when a step parent forces a relationship on the child then this can lead to resentment. I think that each case is different and very hard to generalize for all step parent/step child relationships
I think you could really get along with your step parents but i think it takes time or it depends how long you know them for. For exaple if your really young you get to develop love for that figure either male or female because they are the ones that are there for you. I have a step dad i get along with because his the one that been there for me he has been the dad i need, and plus i know he wants me to do good in life and be sucessful thats why he is so strict and i get mad sometimes and if he ever said something to me about me doing something wrong and tries to punish me i wont come out saying "You're not my dad dont tell me what to do" many kids will do this in that case. I think this makes our step parent feel bad. Also the step parents needs to understand not every child is going to accept a step parent right away that it will take them time.
I feel that step parents and step children have the potential to get along and develop a connection, but initially issues would probably arise. It's difficult for the step parent and step child to adjust to the new living arrangement, neither may know how to act or feel. And even though each situation is different, I feel that the child will most likely always have a stronger bond to their biological parents. This could lead to discipline issues in the future. However, I think a good relationship could form between the step parent and child, it just takes time and adjustment.
I personally feel that step parents and step children can get along but the relationship will never be the same as if it were the child and their real parents. Ofcourse children and parents of all kinds will get into arguments and disagree, it's a part of life and growing up, but a true relationship between children and adults take time and adjustment. I myself have a step father and appreciate the relationship we have. Although he isn't my real dad nor ever replace him, I respect the father figure that he is and the relationship we have wasn't perfect from the beginning.
I definately believe that anyone can get along with step parents. Depending on the situations you may like them more than others or vice versa.I have a step mother and we have always bonded and due to issues with my mother when I met her i bonded with her more than my own mother. I considered her more of a mother than my own. Now that I am older and situations have changed my mother is closest to me and I still am very close with my step mom but I dont think any step parents can "replace" your real parents.
I do think that a child can get along with their step parents but if the child has bad feelings toward them because they might think that they are the reason they don't have they're real mother or father they might no want to get along with them and won't.
Rachel Pac
Having a step-parent of my own I know that it is possible to get along with them. Although I don't love him like I love my dad you still develop connections and relationship with them that you value. If the child went through a rough divorce process with their parents then the child might be more angry and not be willing to work on the relationships with step parents. Step Parents give you the figure one might not have growing up and because of that a child might gain respect for him for being there.
I believe that children can get along with step parents. Also, i believe that children can love them, maybe not as much as their real parent but probably close. I think this because when children lose a parent, they lose that mother or father figure in their life. Therefore, they love the step parent if they care for them like a real parent would. Also, getting along with a step parent may not work out because they dont like their parent remarrying, however, i think that if personalities click and children get to know their step parents then they can have a good relationship.
I can't really say I know from experience with steph parents but i have seen it from the outside and i see that sometimes kids do see their step parent as trying to replace their real parent, even if it is subconcious. They may get along with their step parent but it will never be the same as a relationship with a real parent that you grew up being close to. For example, when I was young, my aunt and uncle got divorced and eventually my uncle started dating again. My 2 cousins didn't mind his girlfriend but it was always tense because they felt their mother was the only woman who could act as that mother figure.
I believe that a child can love their step parents as much as they love their actual parents, however it can be much more difficult. This is mainly because it may be hard to accept having some "replace" your parents, and try to take over their role. A step parent may try to over step their bounds, and offend the child, trying to show that they are just as good as their parents before.
i think that a stepmother can get along with a stepson but not love them as a real parent. They will look at them with more efection than a friend but not like they would with their real mother. This could take a while to happen because the stepmother has a to put alot of effort to get the trust of the stepson.
I do think children can get along with step parents, but it can't be a forced relationship. If the parent trys to hard to form a relationship, it might not go well with the child. The child also has to be comfortable with the fact that this is not their biological parent, and only a step parent. There also has to be alot of trust betwen the two, to form a good relationship
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