The article I read was called "You're Driving Me Crazy" it talks about how small irritants become big issues, and how to solve them.
Small things like leaving your socks on the floor or even leaving the toliet seat up can turn into an argument that could end badly. The thing that some people don't understand about realtionships is that the actions them or their spouse does isnt necessarily a feeling towards them, but just an action their parents did that just got imbedded in their mind. For example, in the atricle it states that the girls father was the kind of person that just dropped everything and left the room if he felt hurt or upset, never the one to raise his vocie. But on the other hand the boys parents were the kind of people that said stay and work it out and would raise their voice to get their point across. So when the couple would get in an argument, the boy would raise his voice and the girl would leave the room. And that turned into a bigger problem.
But a yell is just a call for help, just like saying 'I have no way to meet my needs, I'm freaked out, I'm out of control.' so getting into a warm, loving state no matter how crazy the other person is can solve your problems way faster then fighting. So to sum it all up, if you're in a relationship and you tend to get in arguments, just sit down and talk it out, understand where the other person is coming from, dont let thems ay 'you're driving me crazy!"
Do you notice that the way you handle problems is simlar to how your parents handle their problems?
4 comments:
Jennifer Hebert
I do notice that I do handle my problems similar to how my parents handle their problems. After all, as I grew up, my intial and most important example for dealing with anger or sadness was my parents' own reaction. Thus, at that time, I believed that what I saw was the appropriate reaction to have in society. That lesson is still with me to this day.
I can see it when I am angry. In this case, I take after my mother. When she is angry, she uses words instead of physical violence. When pissed off, she has a really mean tongue. I too usually express my anger vocally, cutting down the person who has angered me (usually my sister).
However, such influences does not have to be negative. I have recently noticed, that when I am sitting and have nothing to do with my hands (thus usually when I am bored, I occupy my hands by moving my hands up and down my thighs. It is a calming technique and gives me something to do. And my grandmother does it all the time. Thus, as I grew up with her presence, I too have picked up on some unconscious habits of hers.
Jennifer Hebert
I definately handle situations similar to my dad. I learned this less from watchind his reactions first hand but rather watching my moms reactions and doing the opposite. My mom traditionally tends to be the short tempered one and my dad is more focused on staying calm to fix whatever happened.
By watching my dad I learned that by not overeacting to situations a problem can be solved easier. I handle my problems similar to my dad in a laidback way.
Jenna Fravel
I think that often people revert back to what they know. We spend our entire childhood's and even part of our adult years living with and surronded by our parents. We absorb their actions and reactions to situations. I think the we do act and respond like our parents even without thinking about it. Does this mean we do everything like our parents, no. Yet, I do think that more often then not we do
Mrs. Hunt
I think that the way our parents handle problems or react to different situations definatley has an impact on how we handle situations, but I don't necessarily think that we do everything how our parents do. In my situation, both my parents like to drop the situation and never bring it up again, holding their feelings inside. I think that i noticed that and realized that is not the way I would like to handle my problems so I do things differently than them. But I do think that the way our parents handle different situations definatley has an impact on how we will handle ours, weather we react just like them or the complete opposite of them.
Breanna LeMay
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