Why Dont Women Ask Males Out On Dates?

This article was basically talking about why women dont ask men out on first dates. Women typically tend to be more shy than men are and dont have the confidence men do to get asked out on dates. 

The article proceeds to explain that there are two kinds of ways to come about the situation. There are verbal an non verbal initiatives. Women are more prone to non verbal initiatives because they rather give signs than full out speaking to the man on how they feel. This dosent really make it a diffrence because today in society asking a women out on a date is just always the right thing to do and what society expects of the male human being to do. 

Do you think it is awkward for a women to ask you out males? and women do you think its awkward for you to ask a male out on a date? and why?

E-Connections: Do Social Media Help or Hurt Our Relationships?

We currently live in a world full of electronics that surround us in our everyday lives, whether it is in school with computers or out and about with an iPod or a cell phone. This has been causing a few problems between relationships, let alone growing to be an “ongoing debate over the impact of social media.” 

 

Many people have been isolating themselves from the rest of the world and focusing on staying in contact through an electronic device. In 2009, a study by Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin and Matthew Brashears showed that “since 1985, Americans have become much more socially isolated and have fewer connections with their neighbors…one cause may be the dramatic rise in…mobile devices…” This study lead to many other investigations done by other organizations. 

 

One done by the Pew Research Center found that in a “typical year, face-to-face contacts occurred an average of 210 days compared to 195 days of mobile phone contact, 125 days of text messaging, 72 days of email contact, and 55 days of instant messaging.” This is now being viewed as a way of life instead of a type of popular trend.

I have to agree that the cell phones, and the internet alone with all of its social networks have messed up the way that people communicate; and soon growing to a point where people won’t even know how to approach each other on the street. Sometimes there is no other way of contacting a person but through an electrical device, but I think there should be more of an effort made to limit the use of electronics. Some people even sleep with their phones right next to them causing them to have a lack of sleep, or when on vacation with the family ruining a moment that should be cherished as a family.

Does the Social media help or hurt our relationships with people?

Transitions From Work to Home

Summary:

Over the past decade or so, many psychologists have noticed that the majority of couples and marriages with problems are no longer brought on by the typical issues: alcohol use, money, sex, children, etc. 

In fact, much of arguments are now more triggered when a spouse returns home from work. “Something is said or not sad, done or not done, which eventually results in a distress-laden night” (Stosny). Much of this anger is brought on during the transition time of getting home from work. Some factors may be: traffic congestion, aggressive driving, stress, overwork, sleep-deprivation, etc. 

The transition from one’s everyday job to home though is nothing compared to what military families have to go through. Being in the military compared to being at home is such a different world. Therefor, it’s very hard for soldiers to come back home and re-adjust to the “home” lifestyle. To avoid argument-triggers after returning home from duty, many have come up with little tricks to help them transition from work to home. Many choose to take off pins, bandanas, or anything removable that reminds them of their job. So not only can soldiers learn from this, civilians can too by remembering little tricks. 

Some tricks may consist of taking a moment before entering home to think about the great people living behind those doors, immediately seek out your loved ones as soon as you walk in and greet them with love, or before you go to work, recognize the importance of your loved ones. Overall, I think Steven Stosny says it best; “If you want to love big, you must frequently think small.”

Question:
Do you believe that fights between couples occur most in the transition time when one of the partners first arrive home from work?

Stop Fixing People

Helping people can actually serve to stunt their development. Not only do you take away their ability to think for themselves, when your goal is to help people do things "the correct way," you are functioning from a position of greater power. 

You are stronger than the person you are helping who has lesser capability, knowledge and strength. Others sense this unequal relationship. If they came to you as unequal--that you are the one with the knowledge in this situation--they may eagerly listen and do what you suggest. This relationship can work when people are starting new ventures and clearly lack skills, experience and knowledge. They want your help. 

On the other hand, if the people you are trying to help do not see you as the great one with all the knowledge, they won't hear you. Their resentment speaks louder than your words. They may even retaliate by doing something stupid or nothing at all. Then you judge them even more harshly. 

In contrast to helping, being of service is a relationship between equals. It is mutual. Serving is responding to a problem and collaborating with others to find the solution. You honor the perspective and knowledge of the people you are serving and then seek to open their eyes to new possibilities and ideas. You give information they are lacking and ask questions to make them think more fully about the situation. You explore possible consequences of their ideas. When they come up with plans for action, you ask them what particular support they need from you to be successful.

My question is "Do you serve or fix people?"

Is there anyone you don't get along with? Do you think these methods would work? Why or why not?

This article was called Everybody Marries the Wrong Person by Christine Meinecke, PhD, and was all about giving in to other’s demands and setting limits so they don’t take the mile when you give them an inch.

It talks about how you can’t change people, and the only way to help the situation is to change yourself, your reactions to things, expectations and negative thoughts. When you want someone to change something, you can ask them directly, but only once. Asking once is responsible, more than once is nagging. 

These are the four steps: Reinforce desired behavior, do not reinforce undesired behavior, let natural consequences emerge, and do not punish. These are similar to child development tactics. These also work on adults! You just have to praise them for doing the right thing, do no praise them for the wrong behaviors, let the consequences for their actions affect them, and don’t punish them for behaviors-you’re not their parent. The change to make is the last one- eliminate punishment, it’s ridiculous how effective it is. 

Is there anyone you don't get along with? Do you think these methods would work? Why or why not?

Commited relationships.. Cultural or Natural?

This article is about how there are chemicals in the brain that cause you to want to be attached to one person and to fall in love. 

It explains that it's natural for humans to do so and it's not only a result of our cultural influences. It says that some people will engage in sexual activity for 'recreation' but it's not the same as if you're with your partner you have fallen in love with and is primarily linked to procreation. 

Basically, it's saying that all social bonds are purely in the brain and not learned by our society. It says that by nature everyone deep down wants someone to be their "mate" and to become attached to and once you find this person that others do not seem as appealing. 

My question is that if this is true, why do you think people still cheat on their partners?

FACEBOOK OCD

In this article, psychologist Seth Meyers argues that Facebook is compared to OCD with most people with today’s society. Not only that it’s a problem, but it is also the cause for many relationship problems. 

They believe that Facebook is giving many people symptoms of jealousy and paranoia. When people are interested in someone, they will end up checking their Facebook page obsessively every time they are on. This is because they try to get more information on the person to see if they are with someone else or what have they been recently up to. But when they actually get into a relationship with the person, then the Facebook stalking gets worse, because they try to see who else is writing on their partners walls and how do they know each other. Also, people tend to get worried whether they are being mentioned in their partners statuses or if they have posted and pictures on them two together yet for everyone else to see. 

The article compares the Facebook situation to “OCD” because it is basically at the same level as OCD since people are always on Facebook and use it for so many things that is has now become a problem. One of the worst things about Facebook is that it breaks a lot of relationships because of someone posting up pictures or a wall post that upsets the partner. 

Or even sometimes it’s because of misinterpreting something that was meaningless. Another thing is that when going on the social network to look someone’s Facebook, it will sometimes ruin people’s day because they would see something that upsets them and even though they knew they should have not looked at it, they now did and it makes them feel sad and lonely.

My Question to you is: Do you think you have Facebook OCD? And has is affected any of your relationships?

In the Name of Love: I Am Only Second Best

In  I am Only Second Best the author, Aaron Ben-Zeev, explains the effect of feeling second best. Studies show that an athlete who wins third place, versus an athlete who wins second place, feels happier and more accomplished. 

This is because athletes who train for long periods of time to reach their goal of being first, will not accept losing by a small margin compared to a larger margin. This shows true for track runners; it is harder for them to accept a loss by just a few seconds or less. 

This also shows true in relationships. One partner may be holding on to a previous person or putting their current partner on a pedestal. This causes the partner to compare their new boyfriend/ girlfriend to their previous partner which makes their relationship a constant competition. Society in general has a "winner-take-all" attitude and is generally very competitive. American society does not like coming short of perfection and will do anything to be the best.

Do you agree with the statement that " A second place winner is happier than a third place winner?" Why or why not? Do you think it is equally possible to be just as happy being second best? (In both athletic competitions and in relationships)

Keeping Promises

My article, Social Media: The Ties That Broaden And The Ties That Bind, talks about the fact that texting and technology takes more time away from staying in touch with people face-to-face. 

It talks about how certain words like maybe could be an excuse for not wanting to hang out with the person because you know you could easily get away with it through text or IM when you don't have to deal with the person. The article states how it's not a bad idea to stay in touch through text or facebook with a family member far away or a long lost neighbor. 

Although once technology becomes more of a factor through communication than from face-to-face conversations in a relationship, there are more personal information between the two people that could be lost. We don't really share actual emotion with people because texting and facebook doesn't equate to actual conversation. A emotion can't be deciphered through texting, but there are certain times when it is appropriate to use texting like when you're busy. An australian study showed that strong social ties create healthier brains because we are social by nature.

Do you, from your experience, think that texting/social networking sites can affect your relationships with people face to face?

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

The article entitled "Can Men and Women Be Friends?" explains how a male-female relationship can be difficult. The author Camille Chatterjee describes that although it is hard to form this type of relationship, they can be very rewarding. 

Some challenges one can face are "jealousy plagues many rational people when a significant other befriends someone of the opposite sex." Other challenges are, "defining the friendship, dealing with sexual attraction, seeing each other as equals, facing people's responses to the relationship, and meeting in the first place." You must overcome all of these challenges before you can have a true cross-sex friendship. 

Male-female friendships are necessary because both sexes must learn to communicate and understand the other. This type of friendship is also necessary because men confide in women things they normally wouldn't in their male friends, and women look for insight on how men really think. Overall, Chatterjee comes to the conclusion that men and women can in fact be friends, but there are many challenges you must overcome before you can have a cross-sex friendship.

Question: What do you think? Can men and women truly be equal friends? Why or why not?

Men and Women Just Being Friends

It is thought for it to be impossible just for men and women just to be friends. It's found that from research, it is hard to have such a relationship because of the possible attraction to one another. 

The boundaries between two people of the different sexes are sometimes minunderstood and can ruin a relationship. Men have different impluse controls than woman. It's thought that just because a man finds a woman beautiful doesn't mean they necessarly want to be with them. However, the famous saying for this type of situation is "Familiarity leads to intimacy." The relationship between two people may change over time, but it is rare. People have troube accepting this but it's just become part of life for good friends to fall for each other.

Question: Do you think that a man and a woman who are both heterosexual can just be friends? or do you think that if a man and woman are friends, that they will become "more than friends," over time?

Jealousy: Love's Destroyer

Jealousy: Love’s Destroyer, it talks about how someone’s jealousy can either ruin or help a relationship. Jealousy is a person’s way, whether it is a guy or girl, of subconsciously saying her or she feels threatened. 

 

The feelings that usually cause jealousy are: fear, abandonment, loss, sorrow, anger, betrayal, envy, and humiliation. But do not be confused, jealousy is not the same as envy, even though people do interchange them for each other. 

 

Jealousy has to deal with threats of sexual or romantic infidelity or the loss of a partner to another person, whereas, envy is more of a physical emotion as to a girl being resentful to her because of what she has. Envy is the cousin to jealousy. The emotion called jealousy also has something to do with being insecure. 

 

The more insecure a person is, the greater their jealousy. But, “In small doses it is an expression of caring. It’s a way to test whether it’s safe to invest more emotion.” The threat of losing it (meaning a relationship) is a test of how much you value it.

Question: Do you believe that jealousy is an emotion that’s actions help a relationship or destroy them and why?

Painkillers for Heartbreak?

Getting rejected by another person (emotionally) is different from when you physically get hurt by falling off your bike. But, according to a new study in your brain it's closely related.

In the Anterior Cingulate Cortex, (a portion of your brain designated for pain) holds the key to both emotions a physical pain. This new study says that you can take a painkilling drug such as Tylenol for temporarily relief of heartbreak. Also knowing that hugs and kisses can help ease the pain

Knowing the study was so small and just the beginning, Do you believe that if you take a painkiller it will help you not feel emotional heartache like not feeling a physical pain, or do you believe old fashion hugs and kisses from a loved one will help ease the pain?

Can Men and Women be Friends?

Men and women have had a strained relationship all throughout history.  It is a common belief that men and women can only have romantic relationships. 

Relationship experts and psychologists disagree.  They say that this is an old train of thought back when men and women weren't considered equal.  Today is a new age, they say that men and women can have friendly relationships but it takes work.  What do you think? 

Can men and women truly be good friends, and why or why not?

Would you marry yourself?

Because of implicit egotism we are attracted to people and things that remind us of ourselves.

But in our society we pride ourselves on being unique. Is it possible to be just one or the other?














                                                                                                

Have You Reality Checked Lately?

The definition of 'reality check' from the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary is: something that clarifies or serves as a reminder of reality, often by correcting a misconception. 

Sometimes reality checks can apply to personal and romantic relationships, do you find that using a reality check can improve a relationship, or even save one?

What's Your Love Story?

What role do you play in your relationship?

This is crucial because the love between two people and the relationship they share is said to follow a story. In order to understand love, we must know and understand our individual stories behind it. 

The key to a successful relationship is to make sure their individual stories are compatible. Relationships are healthier and happier that way. For the people who always wonder why things never change it’s because we look at the symptoms we have from a poor love story rather than the causes of it all. 

What everyone must realize is that we all have the ability to experiment with new and different plots. We must remember we are the authors and only we can write our happy endings.

Do you believe love and relationships mirror a story or simply random acts and moments in your life?

The outcome of Divorce

The way you present your divorce to your spouce can change the outcome of the divorce. Depending on the converstions a couple has during a divorce can change how your relationship is afterward.  

I think this information is very accurate in that if you try blaming eachother for a divorce your relationship afterward will be difficult. 

My question to you is do you thing this information is accurate? If not, why? If so, do you think it would be the same or a similar case fro a man divorcing a woman? And do you think this can also relate to relationships in highschool and the outcome of a breakup?

Stepmothers can we really get along with them?

This article talked about relationships between stepmother and child and the real reason why it's so complicated.

 

Children find it difficult to become use to an outsider and many problems occur whether it has to do with loyalty bonds or plain out resentment but no matter the case being a stepmother is difficult. This showed that both child and stepmother find it hard to keep a positive relationship and it’s not easy on either side no matter what they do and most people have a difficult time ever finding that balance. 

 

Do you think that children can truly get along with their step parents? And if so can you love them just as much as your real parents?

Can Men and Women be true friends?

The belief that men and women cannot be friends without stirring up some kinds of intime emotions originates from times in history when the main reason men and women got together was for romance, because of the different placement they had in society. 

It is essential for men and women to define the relationship and distinguish romantic, intime, and friendly feelings and create equality between both genders, in order for their friendship to work and thrive. 

Research presented in the article shows that both men and women greatly benefit from cross-ses friendship and that it is very emotionally supportive. However, having cross-ses friendships becomes harder when a person is in a serious romantic relationship or in marriage. Like in any type of relationship, communication is key for success.

Do you agree with this data and believe that men and women can be real friends?