Over the past decade or so, many psychologists have noticed that the majority of couples and marriages with problems are no longer brought on by the typical issues: alcohol use, money, sex, children, etc.
In fact, much of arguments are now more triggered when a spouse returns home from work. “Something is said or not sad, done or not done, which eventually results in a distress-laden night” (Stosny). Much of this anger is brought on during the transition time of getting home from work. Some factors may be: traffic congestion, aggressive driving, stress, overwork, sleep-deprivation, etc.
The transition from one’s everyday job to home though is nothing compared to what military families have to go through. Being in the military compared to being at home is such a different world. Therefor, it’s very hard for soldiers to come back home and re-adjust to the “home” lifestyle. To avoid argument-triggers after returning home from duty, many have come up with little tricks to help them transition from work to home. Many choose to take off pins, bandanas, or anything removable that reminds them of their job. So not only can soldiers learn from this, civilians can too by remembering little tricks.
Some tricks may consist of taking a moment before entering home to think about the great people living behind those doors, immediately seek out your loved ones as soon as you walk in and greet them with love, or before you go to work, recognize the importance of your loved ones. Overall, I think Steven Stosny says it best; “If you want to love big, you must frequently think small.”
Question:
Do you believe that fights between couples occur most in the transition time when one of the partners first arrive home from work?
Question:
Do you believe that fights between couples occur most in the transition time when one of the partners first arrive home from work?
7 comments:
I think most fights between couples occur most in the transition times because everyone has to get used to everything again, living on new times. Doing this may cause , anxieties, sleep deprivation, etc. People dealing with this cope differently depending on what's effecting them which will cause a lot of stress and tense throughout a couple which will also lead to fighting.
I agree with Alyssa. When a partner comes home from work they have to deal with all the stress that partner got during work. They have to try and realize the problem and solve it. The partner who came home needs to let out the stress and relax. The couple has to have good communication in order to deal with the fighting from work problem.
I do believe most fights do occur between couples during transitions because i have an aunt that is an army wife and she said that this is true. Usually when people do argue stress comes into play and then things go wrong. Many people dont know how to cope with this kind of situation so they stress. Transition from the workplace to home is usually a big problem when you dont work at the same place or doing the same thing.
Danielle Gopie
I think that they do occur one somebody gets home from work.i believe this because every time i leave work im always irritated and i seem to fight more with parents when they pick me up. After im home and relaxed i seem to fight less with them
Stephanie Perez
I agree that the majority of arguments between couples happens within the time they come home; or the 'transition' period. After work, you usually seek a relaxing haven and when your home doesn't comply with these standards, people get irritated and fight. There's a lot of anxiety that comes from work and it's usually channeled inappropriately to other family members/spouses.
It makes sense that people would fight more just coming home from work. If they had a rough day on the job dealing with difficult people or just a lot of work, they could misdirect their frustration and anger towards their family. This would then upset the family who, even if in a good mood before, would become angry because a fight started as soon as the first person walked through the door.
I do believe that fights between couples occur most often in the transition time when one of the partners first arrive home from work because this is when they are most stressed out I believe, because they are aggravated and come home from work and want to just pick a fight because they are already annoyed anyway so they are like "oh what the heck " . People fight because some couples want to build up excited in the relationship and the only way they can do that is fight for some couples because they do not know how to talk.
Post a Comment