WELCOME TO OUR WEEKLY DISCUSSION BOARD OF ALL THINGS PSYCHOLOGY.
Would you marry yourself?
Because of implicit egotism we are attracted to people and things that remind us of ourselves.
But in our society we pride ourselves on being unique. Is it possible to be just one or the other?
18 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I think that this definitely does apply to some people, that they are attracted to things and people that remind them of themselves. However, there is also a lot of people who specifically DISLIKE things and people that remind them of themselves. I personally tend to not get along with people that have the same personality as me, which is probably why all my friends are so different from each other and myself. In life there is often a "grey area" though, so I don't think it always has to be one way or the other. People are complex and seemingly inconsistant by nature. We can't generalize that there is a black and white answer for everyone just because it works that way for some people. Like they always say, opposites attract, so I don't think I would marry myself. _-Cristina Theriault-_
I don't think that it's possible to be just one or the other since that is what sets everyone apart. Sure we would like to be attracted to people and things that remind us of ourselves, but that's not what makes us unique. If everyone went along with the people and things that remind them of themselves, then they would only be focusing on what those other people are interested in and would go along with it. But otherwise we're able to express ourselves and show how different we all are. By nature, it's our differences along with our similarities that bring us together and make us who we are as a whole. So, why marry someone who shares the same interests as I do and not find out anything new and exciting about their lives? I would not want to marry myself; I'd like to mix some new things into my life.
I agree with Christina an luke in thinking this may apply to some people but not all. i do believe that there are alot of people who are more attracted to things that remind them of themselves, i must say i agree with that because i think some of my decisions show that. though i do think i wouldnt marry myself, like everything you do i believe you feel like nothing is perfect and i feel like i wouldnt want to marry myself because i also dont want someone just like me some varity is always good. ~Jennifer Giomblanco~
Personally, I think there are 3 main types of people; the vanilla ice cream lovers, the chocolate ice cream lovers, and the vanilla-chocolate twist lovers. There are people (vanilla ice cream eaters) who extremely dislike things about themselves to the point where they wouldn’t want to be with an individual who was exactly like them, for many reasons. Lack of variety in their lives, constant dullness, etc. The second kind of people (the chocolate ice cream eaters) I feel are the ones who in fact DO want someone just like them. They like the secure feeling of being with another person who likes and dislikes the same things they do, and with that comes minimal arguments because most likely the two would have the same views and opinions on something. Finally the 3rd kind of person (the vanilla-chocolate twist eaters) would be someone like me. People like this want there to be some similarities, because it makes it easier to find common interests and things to agree on, but at the same time a little difference and head butting between the two is good to see different views of a situation. I do feel a person can strongly be one or the other, depending on your personality, but I also feel it is entirely possible to want a little bit of both. That’s not to say that if you like vanilla ice cream that you will be searching for a spouse the complete opposite of yourself, it’s just to show that you can want the same “generic” kind of mate, the one that’s completely different than you, or just a little bit of both. ~Nicole Bolduc~
I agree with what everyone ahead of me said. We all make up our own lives and we chose the people that surround us based on the similarities within one another. I personally think that having to many similarities with another person can be positive and negative. The positives of it are that we are able to share the same experiences and having things in common with certain people mainly your friends generates a common ground within each other, but yet sometimes having too much of the same similarities causes problems and sometime leads to arguments.. You may agree on the same things, but yet you may disagree on other topics. This brings me to believe that if i were to marry myself or someone similar to myself would bore me. Having differences can be an extremely good thing. Bringing new things into a relationship and learning about that "different" person can lead to a strong and entertaining relationship in which draws someone more towards the other. *Caroline Ferreira*
Going along the same lines as what the people above me said, everyone is different and everyone has similarities. You can't really change that. You're going to be attracted to people that are similar to you, but also be attracted to the people that are polar opposites of yourself. However, I do believe that most, but not all, people surround themselves with similar people and personalities. Being with people who are similar to you provides comfort and a sense of stability. When people surround themselves with similar personalities, they feel more at ease and at "home". They can say and do the things they want without someone having to judge them. It’s human nature to stick to your own “kind” and be with the ones you find most like you and being uncomfortable with the unknown. Me personally, I have friends who are both similar and completely different from each other and me as well. I like this balance because it allows for me to be with people I feel comfortable with and know really well, while also allowing me to step away from myself and be with different people and experience new things. Surrounding yourself with different types of people is the thing that makes you unique. When you are attracted and around different people you learn things about yourself that you probably would have never learned if you just stuck to the same personalities. Referring to the question of would I marry myself? That answer would be a no. I would never want to be with someone who is like me. I get bored and annoyed with myself, so I would be twice as irritated with that person. Having someone in your life (whether it is friends, family, or someone in a relationship) that is different, gives you new opportunities to express yourself in ways that you have never thought of. -- Brianna Maylor :) --
I feel that most people do pride themselves with being unique and not like anyone else. But this does not stop them from enjoying the company of someone that reminds them of themselves. I feel that we do it as more of a level of comfort. We are more comfortable with being around someone like ourselves, because we know what we are capable of and our actions, and being with someone like ourselves we can stay safely "inside the box." For example if you have friends that are outgoing and adventurous chances are you are too because its what you are used to. On the other hand some people like to have the polar opposite as a companion. To answer the question will I marry myself, no. I would want someone that is in a way similar to me, but at the same time I would like to have someone that is the opposite as me because I know how I am, and I know I would get bored with someone that likes and acts the same exact way as me. So I do feel that we can be both attracted to people that remind us of ourselves, and at the same time we can pride ourselves with being our "own unique person."
I feel as though people do want to be around things that are familiar to them, because that way, they'll feel more comfortable and therefore feel more inclined to be themselves the majority of the time. I do also think, however, that people also want to be around those that are different than they are, because it breaks free from the mundane and would also, in a certain way, give them a better sense of self, in terms of their opinions, theories, ideas, etc. in the contrast of others. As far as marrying someone just like myself, I would certainly want some common ground, but on the other hand, it would be completely boring and predictible.
I agree with Nicole on how there are three types of people in the world when it comes to personality traits. I believe some people enjoy hanging out with others that are very much like themselves. They can find common interest with each other which has drawn them to be acquaintances, and get along. If your friends with someone who has the same ideas as you you’re more likely to get along because you have the same opinions on certain things. The second type of person is the one that becomes friends with others that are the complete opposite from themselves. They enjoy getting different perspectives on certain views and having different opinions. Lastly the third kind of person is the one that can deal with someone just like you and the complete opposite. They like to have the same similarities but a little change as well because always having the same opinion can get boring. Most of my friends are very similar to me because I find it much easier to have conversation with them if they enjoy the same interests and ideas as me.
I'm going to have to agree with a very broad statement that many of the people who blogged before me have mentioned....it depends on the person. Nicole mentioned there are three types of people, vanilla lovers, chocolate lovers, and twist lovers. My view on this is, well...they all like ice cream. It sounds like a joke but the point i am making is that EVERYONE is different and many people differ in their preferences day to day. I'm not sure but i know from personal experiences that i can like one thing one day and something totally different the next. I'm sure there are some people that know exactly what they want when looking for a spouse, but to be completely honest those are the people that sometimes become completely shocked to realize that what they wanted and what make them happy are completely different. looking at the bigger picture, most people base themselves on being attracted to people of their choosing, but sometimes they can change their views slightly or drastically to suit them and to make themselves happy. This shows that at any point in time, there is no yes or no answer because most people change their feelings based on their happiness. So as for the question would i marry myself? id answer that saying if its what makes me happy then absolutely. Cody Burghoff
I personally don't believe that there is a way to be entirely unique. There are always new things that can be done or made but most of the time they are building off of what has already been created. As for just being yourself, people tend to build off of one another all the time. Maybe they are unique to some, but they can definitely find someone else that shares some similar qualities with them. For example, when people buy clothes, there are other people with that same taste. Also, the company that designed those clothes had that idea first and probably even got ideas about new trends and styles from other clothes. That's just about the same with everything. Maybe if a person makes their own clothing it could be considered unique, but at the same time they could just be getting ideas from other styles they've already seen, but just want to make it themselves for some other reason. I believe that this goes to show that, yes, people do like finding things that remind them of themselves because we are always building off of other people. Maybe it's not something that can be related to ourselves at first, but a person will come to realize that they want some sort of change in their life and see that another person has the sort of change they want. This would be reminding them of their self in a way that they see the person who they want to become through someone else. An example could be that someone might have a terrible life and be hooked on drugs and they find some person who is very happy. The person knows that they want that happiness too, so they relate that to themselves. They might try to become friends with that person to find a way into that happiness, and maybe it's through religion or helping people or something else. But the person would want to find new people to help change his life around, when before he filled his life with people who were into the same kinds of things. I believe that we all like finding people who can have at least some similar qualities as ourselves.
While it is true that most people find comfort in the familiar, I do believe in the addage that opposites attract. On a personal basis, I think that I would be looking for a person who is equally like and unlike me. The idea of a life with someone exactly like myself would be a boring concept. In addition, there is the concept that this person would have not only my same hobbies and positive traits, but also my negative traits. In a significant other I would be looking for somebody who had traits which properly counterbalanced my own, in that on my bad days she would be able to console me, and on her bad days I would be able to do the same for her. In this way I find that a too similar person would be unable to meet the sentimental demands of a loving relationship.
I think people do look for the people that they have the most in common,so yes people do look for someone who is themselves in a way. In my mind i dont think people really want that they just want someone that they can be themselves around and not be with them selves cause you would get sick of that. people want something different something new and thats life for you its never what you expect. For me i hang around with people that make me laugh and that i can have fun with and that i cant predict what they will do, so i wouldnt marry someone thats like me. Michal Oldziej
I believe that marrying someone who is exactly like you is a little weird but its up to the person. I think that people marry who they see as a compatible match for them and not just because they have the same name or the same exact interests as each other. Lots of people like that their spouse is different then them and lots of people like that they are almost the same as them. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion of the person and whatever interests them. Everybody is different and it comes down to what they want and not what anybody else wants. Chris Bodziak
adding on to what patrick had said, if someone was just like me it could go either way of bringing out the worst or the best of me. I personally wouldnt want that, it could also be a very bland relationship,i wouldnt do anything new and life is all about experiances, i just couldnt see it working out. I would prefer a more balanced out partner with some common likes and dislikes while at the same time, other likes and dislikes. i feel as if i were hypethetically married with someone exactly like me the relationship would be constant butting heads between my "partner" and I.
I believe that people can be attracted to people who are similar to themselves. it is no secret that people enjoy being around the familar. However, I know there are people, myself included, who can not stand to be around those who display the same triats as them for extendeds periods of time. Being with someone who acted just as they did would drive them insane because it's probaly going to be over-whelming to deal with someone who's like them. On the other hand, being with someone who was their opposite would most-likely bring out the better side of them becasue they would be able to open their eyes to new ideas and experiences that they would most-likely not be able to understand and accept them had they been introduced to them with someone who shared my mind-set.
Personally I do not believe that it is possible to just be unique or to just be attracted to people that are similar to you. I believe in the statement that opposites attract because if you are too similar you will always be fighting over something. For example, my mom and I seem to fight a lot because we are very a like, I mean when we are getting along we're practically bestfriends. But we've been told by family members that I am just like she was at my age and that is why we are constantly at eachothers throats. I feel if you were with someone like this than you would constantly be fighting over dumb issues. Honestly, I could not stand with being with someone who was too similar to me because it would be boring and annoying. Everyone should find someone who is to an extent similar to the point where you get along, but has different qualities at the same time. These different qualities will help have things to share with one another and create new experiences. Everyone is unique but at the same time we have similar qualites too. So there really is no clear cut answer to whether or not we are just unique or just attracted to things/people that remind ourselves of us. -Danielle Gagnon.
I believe that we are attracted to things or people that remind us of ourselves, but I, personally, would NEVER marry myself. We are attracted to things that remind us of our good traits, if I were to marry myself, it wouldn't just be a constant reminder of my good qualities, but also my faults. But I also believe that we pick up traits and ideas as we grow and develop, creating a mixing pot of traits that become the individual. No one person is completely isolated from all human traits, we all have some things in common. So you have to assume that there are some people out there who have had the same experiences with the same sorts of people who have essentially developed the same sort of personality. This does not take from the individual, its merely common sense. There are billions of people in this world, a little overlapping of personality comes with the territory. David Rawolle
18 comments:
I think that this definitely does apply to some people, that they are attracted to things and people that remind them of themselves. However, there is also a lot of people who specifically DISLIKE things and people that remind them of themselves. I personally tend to not get along with people that have the same personality as me, which is probably why all my friends are so different from each other and myself. In life there is often a "grey area" though, so I don't think it always has to be one way or the other. People are complex and seemingly inconsistant by nature. We can't generalize that there is a black and white answer for everyone just because it works that way for some people. Like they always say, opposites attract, so I don't think I would marry myself. _-Cristina Theriault-_
I don't think that it's possible to be just one or the other since that is what sets everyone apart. Sure we would like to be attracted to people and things that remind us of ourselves, but that's not what makes us unique. If everyone went along with the people and things that remind them of themselves, then they would only be focusing on what those other people are interested in and would go along with it. But otherwise we're able to express ourselves and show how different we all are. By nature, it's our differences along with our similarities that bring us together and make us who we are as a whole. So, why marry someone who shares the same interests as I do and not find out anything new and exciting about their lives? I would not want to marry myself; I'd like to mix some new things into my life.
I agree with Christina an luke in thinking this may apply to some people but not all. i do believe that there are alot of people who are more attracted to things that remind them of themselves, i must say i agree with that because i think some of my decisions show that. though i do think i wouldnt marry myself, like everything you do i believe you feel like nothing is perfect and i feel like i wouldnt want to marry myself because i also dont want someone just like me some varity is always good.
~Jennifer Giomblanco~
Personally, I think there are 3 main types of people; the vanilla ice cream lovers, the chocolate ice cream lovers, and the vanilla-chocolate twist lovers. There are people (vanilla ice cream eaters) who extremely dislike things about themselves to the point where they wouldn’t want to be with an individual who was exactly like them, for many reasons. Lack of variety in their lives, constant dullness, etc. The second kind of people (the chocolate ice cream eaters) I feel are the ones who in fact DO want someone just like them. They like the secure feeling of being with another person who likes and dislikes the same things they do, and with that comes minimal arguments because most likely the two would have the same views and opinions on something. Finally the 3rd kind of person (the vanilla-chocolate twist eaters) would be someone like me. People like this want there to be some similarities, because it makes it easier to find common interests and things to agree on, but at the same time a little difference and head butting between the two is good to see different views of a situation. I do feel a person can strongly be one or the other, depending on your personality, but I also feel it is entirely possible to want a little bit of both. That’s not to say that if you like vanilla ice cream that you will be searching for a spouse the complete opposite of yourself, it’s just to show that you can want the same “generic” kind of mate, the one that’s completely different than you, or just a little bit of both.
~Nicole Bolduc~
I agree with what everyone ahead of me said. We all make up our own lives and we chose the people that surround us based on the similarities within one another. I personally think that having to many similarities with another person can be positive and negative. The positives of it are that we are able to share the same experiences and having things in common with certain people mainly your friends generates a common ground within each other, but yet sometimes having too much of the same similarities causes problems and sometime leads to arguments.. You may agree on the same things, but yet you may disagree on other topics. This brings me to believe that if i were to marry myself or someone similar to myself would bore me. Having differences can be an extremely good thing. Bringing new things into a relationship and learning about that "different" person can lead to a strong and entertaining relationship in which draws someone more towards the other.
*Caroline Ferreira*
Going along the same lines as what the people above me said, everyone is different and everyone has similarities. You can't really change that. You're going to be attracted to people that are similar to you, but also be attracted to the people that are polar opposites of yourself. However, I do believe that most, but not all, people surround themselves with similar people and personalities. Being with people who are similar to you provides comfort and a sense of stability. When people surround themselves with similar personalities, they feel more at ease and at "home". They can say and do the things they want without someone having to judge them. It’s human nature to stick to your own “kind” and be with the ones you find most like you and being uncomfortable with the unknown. Me personally, I have friends who are both similar and completely different from each other and me as well. I like this balance because it allows for me to be with people I feel comfortable with and know really well, while also allowing me to step away from myself and be with different people and experience new things. Surrounding yourself with different types of people is the thing that makes you unique. When you are attracted and around different people you learn things about yourself that you probably would have never learned if you just stuck to the same personalities. Referring to the question of would I marry myself? That answer would be a no. I would never want to be with someone who is like me. I get bored and annoyed with myself, so I would be twice as irritated with that person. Having someone in your life (whether it is friends, family, or someone in a relationship) that is different, gives you new opportunities to express yourself in ways that you have never thought of.
-- Brianna Maylor :) --
I feel that most people do pride themselves with being unique and not like anyone else. But this does not stop them from enjoying the company of someone that reminds them of themselves. I feel that we do it as more of a level of comfort. We are more comfortable with being around someone like ourselves, because we know what we are capable of and our actions, and being with someone like ourselves we can stay safely "inside the box." For example if you have friends that are outgoing and adventurous chances are you are too because its what you are used to. On the other hand some people like to have the polar opposite as a companion. To answer the question will I marry myself, no. I would want someone that is in a way similar to me, but at the same time I would like to have someone that is the opposite as me because I know how I am, and I know I would get bored with someone that likes and acts the same exact way as me. So I do feel that we can be both attracted to people that remind us of ourselves, and at the same time we can pride ourselves with being our "own unique person."
I feel as though people do want to be around things that are familiar to them, because that way, they'll feel more comfortable and therefore feel more inclined to be themselves the majority of the time. I do also think, however, that people also want to be around those that are different than they are, because it breaks free from the mundane and would also, in a certain way, give them a better sense of self, in terms of their opinions, theories, ideas, etc. in the contrast of others. As far as marrying someone just like myself, I would certainly want some common ground, but on the other hand, it would be completely boring and predictible.
~Alicia Tabaka
I agree with Nicole on how there are three types of people in the world when it comes to personality traits. I believe some people enjoy hanging out with others that are very much like themselves. They can find common interest with each other which has drawn them to be acquaintances, and get along. If your friends with someone who has the same ideas as you you’re more likely to get along because you have the same opinions on certain things. The second type of person is the one that becomes friends with others that are the complete opposite from themselves. They enjoy getting different perspectives on certain views and having different opinions. Lastly the third kind of person is the one that can deal with someone just like you and the complete opposite. They like to have the same similarities but a little change as well because always having the same opinion can get boring. Most of my friends are very similar to me because I find it much easier to have conversation with them if they enjoy the same interests and ideas as me.
~Kelsey Beecher
I'm going to have to agree with a very broad statement that many of the people who blogged before me have mentioned....it depends on the person. Nicole mentioned there are three types of people, vanilla lovers, chocolate lovers, and twist lovers. My view on this is, well...they all like ice cream. It sounds like a joke but the point i am making is that EVERYONE is different and many people differ in their preferences day to day. I'm not sure but i know from personal experiences that i can like one thing one day and something totally different the next. I'm sure there are some people that know exactly what they want when looking for a spouse, but to be completely honest those are the people that sometimes become completely shocked to realize that what they wanted and what make them happy are completely different. looking at the bigger picture, most people base themselves on being attracted to people of their choosing, but sometimes they can change their views slightly or drastically to suit them and to make themselves happy. This shows that at any point in time, there is no yes or no answer because most people change their feelings based on their happiness. So as for the question would i marry myself? id answer that saying if its what makes me happy then absolutely.
Cody Burghoff
I personally don't believe that there is a way to be entirely unique. There are always new things that can be done or made but most of the time they are building off of what has already been created. As for just being yourself, people tend to build off of one another all the time. Maybe they are unique to some, but they can definitely find someone else that shares some similar qualities with them. For example, when people buy clothes, there are other people with that same taste. Also, the company that designed those clothes had that idea first and probably even got ideas about new trends and styles from other clothes. That's just about the same with everything. Maybe if a person makes their own clothing it could be considered unique, but at the same time they could just be getting ideas from other styles they've already seen, but just want to make it themselves for some other reason. I believe that this goes to show that, yes, people do like finding things that remind them of themselves because we are always building off of other people. Maybe it's not something that can be related to ourselves at first, but a person will come to realize that they want some sort of change in their life and see that another person has the sort of change they want. This would be reminding them of their self in a way that they see the person who they want to become through someone else. An example could be that someone might have a terrible life and be hooked on drugs and they find some person who is very happy. The person knows that they want that happiness too, so they relate that to themselves. They might try to become friends with that person to find a way into that happiness, and maybe it's through religion or helping people or something else. But the person would want to find new people to help change his life around, when before he filled his life with people who were into the same kinds of things. I believe that we all like finding people who can have at least some similar qualities as ourselves.
Cassie DeCorleto
While it is true that most people find comfort in the familiar, I do believe in the addage that opposites attract. On a personal basis, I think that I would be looking for a person who is equally like and unlike me. The idea of a life with someone exactly like myself would be a boring concept. In addition, there is the concept that this person would have not only my same hobbies and positive traits, but also my negative traits. In a significant other I would be looking for somebody who had traits which properly counterbalanced my own, in that on my bad days she would be able to console me, and on her bad days I would be able to do the same for her. In this way I find that a too similar person would be unable to meet the sentimental demands of a loving relationship.
Patrick St.Onge
I think people do look for the people that they have the most in common,so yes people do look for someone who is themselves in a way. In my mind i dont think people really want that they just want someone that they can be themselves around and not be with them selves cause you would get sick of that. people want something different something new and thats life for you its never what you expect. For me i hang around with people that make me laugh and that i can have fun with and that i cant predict what they will do, so i wouldnt marry someone thats like me.
Michal Oldziej
I believe that marrying someone who is exactly like you is a little weird but its up to the person. I think that people marry who they see as a compatible match for them and not just because they have the same name or the same exact interests as each other. Lots of people like that their spouse is different then them and lots of people like that they are almost the same as them. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion of the person and whatever interests them. Everybody is different and it comes down to what they want and not what anybody else wants.
Chris Bodziak
adding on to what patrick had said, if someone was just like me it could go either way of bringing out the worst or the best of me. I personally wouldnt want that, it could also be a very bland relationship,i wouldnt do anything new and life is all about experiances, i just couldnt see it working out. I would prefer a more balanced out partner with some common likes and dislikes while at the same time, other likes and dislikes. i feel as if i were hypethetically married with someone exactly like me the relationship would be constant butting heads between my "partner" and I.
-Brennan Stevens
I believe that people can be attracted to people who are similar to themselves. it is no secret that people enjoy being around the familar. However, I know there are people, myself included, who can not stand to be around those who display the same triats as them for extendeds periods of time. Being with someone who acted just as they did would drive them insane because it's probaly going to be over-whelming to deal with someone who's like them. On the other hand, being with someone who was their opposite would most-likely bring out the better side of them becasue they would be able to open their eyes to new ideas and experiences that they would most-likely not be able to understand and accept them had they been introduced to them with someone who shared my mind-set.
-Mariah Thomas
Personally I do not believe that it is possible to just be unique or to just be attracted to people that are similar to you. I believe in the statement that opposites attract because if you are too similar you will always be fighting over something. For example, my mom and I seem to fight a lot because we are very a like, I mean when we are getting along we're practically bestfriends. But we've been told by family members that I am just like she was at my age and that is why we are constantly at eachothers throats. I feel if you were with someone like this than you would constantly be fighting over dumb issues. Honestly, I could not stand with being with someone who was too similar to me because it would be boring and annoying. Everyone should find someone who is to an extent similar to the point where you get along, but has different qualities at the same time. These different qualities will help have things to share with one another and create new experiences. Everyone is unique but at the same time we have similar qualites too. So there really is no clear cut answer to whether or not we are just unique or just attracted to things/people that remind ourselves of us.
-Danielle Gagnon.
I believe that we are attracted to things or people that remind us of ourselves, but I, personally, would NEVER marry myself. We are attracted to things that remind us of our good traits, if I were to marry myself, it wouldn't just be a constant reminder of my good qualities, but also my faults. But I also believe that we pick up traits and ideas as we grow and develop, creating a mixing pot of traits that become the individual. No one person is completely isolated from all human traits, we all have some things in common. So you have to assume that there are some people out there who have had the same experiences with the same sorts of people who have essentially developed the same sort of personality. This does not take from the individual, its merely common sense. There are billions of people in this world, a little overlapping of personality comes with the territory.
David Rawolle
Post a Comment